you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
