so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
