glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
this is an emotional support booty call
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
