ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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