so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
