Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
