How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
