i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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