problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
