I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Screwed.edu
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
