Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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