On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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