Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
