just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
