Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
NoShamevember. You game?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
