So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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