Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
4 words: hood of his car
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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