And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
