my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
