Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
