Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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