I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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