Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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