Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize