I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
