umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize