Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
