No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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