i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
