hotel room ftw
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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