Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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