What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I need to align my fucking chakras
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