And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
