what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
