Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
