I got chris browned last night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize