I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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