is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize