dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
