And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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