those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she peed on how many people?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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