Having a random hookup so left but love u
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he fucked my hip out of place.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
