Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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