She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
as a side note pls kill me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
