I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You took a bar mat shot.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
