If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's Friday. Sex?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
