As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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