btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize