She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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