i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
