I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
