it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
