i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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