the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
