He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
