There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we're making bets on your personal life
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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