No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
