I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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