It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
