I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
