Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
