question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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