Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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