My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
